
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5015065.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Batman_(Comics)
  Relationship:
      Dick_Grayson/Jason_Todd/Bruce_Wayne
  Character:
      Dick_Grayson, Jason_Todd, Bruce_Wayne
  Additional Tags:
      domestic_bats, Plot_What_Plot/Porn_Without_Plot, ambiguous_au_is
      ambiguous
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-10-17 Words: 2216
****** no damnation ever looked as cozy as this ******
by ohmcgee
Summary
     “I’m in an alternate universe,” Dick says, boggled. “I’m -- Bruce has
     been body snatched.”
Notes
     Kinda maybe possibly also from whatever ambiguous verse this is from
     where everyone's weirdly happy and not trying to kill each other to
     death?
See the end of the work for more notes
Dick lets himself in, exhausted from the train ride over, his stomach rumbling
in his belly, grins when he smells something delicious coming from the kitchen.
“Screw America,” Dick says, dropping his bag. “God bless Alfred.”
He walks into the kitchen to find Jay perched on the counter, Bruce standing
between his legs, his hands wrapped around Jason’s thighs as he licks tomato
sauce from the end of the spoon Jay’s holding out to him.
“Um,” Dick says, clearing his throat and Jay and Bruce both turn their heads at
the same time to look at him which is...creepy, mostly. Weirdos.
“Hey, Dickie,” Jay says, tasting the rest of the sauce on the spoon himself.
“More oregano,” he says to Bruce and Dick watches in morbid fascination as
Bruce reaches for the spice rack, flips open the lid and shakes a bit of green
flakes into the sauce pan.
“I’m in an alternate universe,” Dick says, boggled. “I’m -- Bruce has been body
snatched.”
Dick sees Bruce’s mouth turn up in the corner even though he has his back him
while he stirs the sauce, then holds the spoon up to Jay to have another taste.
“Jay’s teaching me to cook,” Bruce says to him, his hands back on Jay’s thighs
as Jason licks at the spoon thoughtfully. “Nothing big. Just a simple pasta
sauce.”
“Pasta,” Dick says, splutters even. “Bruce the last time you tried to cook you
burnt macaroni. Dry macaroni. We had to evacuate the house.”
Jason giggles a little around his spoon. “So that’s where you get it from, huh,
Dickie?”
Dick rolls his eyes at him, keeps staring at Bruce like any second now he’s
going to morph back into dark, broody, never-allowed-in-the-kitchen guy.
“Anyway, where’s Alfred?”
“Out,” Jay says, rubbing the heels of his feet along the backs of Bruce’s
thighs. There are red smudges shaped like fingerprints on the back of Bruce’s
shirt, on the seat of his pants -- “You know. For the weekend.”
“Oh,” Dick says, disappointed he’s going to have to do all that laundry
himself, but when he looks up Jay is giving him a very pointed glare. “Oh.”
“Can you come here,” Jason says, exasperated, and Bruce laughs, moves back to
the stove to turn the temperature down.
Dick takes Bruce’s place between Jason’s thighs, drapes his arms over Jason’s
narrow-but-getting-broader shoulders, lets Jason stick the spoon in his mouth
and licks it clean.
“Goddamn, that’s good,” Dick says, his stomach rumbling for even more.
Jason laughs, thumbs the sauce from the corner of Dick’s mouth and sucks it
off. “How come he doesn’t get yelled at for using language like that?” He asks
Bruce.
“He’s an adult,” Bruce says, laying his hand on the small of Dick’s back when
he moves behind him in the kitchen to pull a colander out of a cabinet.
“Seriously,” Dick says. “How does he even know where that is?”
“Hurry,” Jay says, hooking his legs around Dick’s waist and tugging him forward
to get him out of Bruce’s way so he can get to the pasta. “Don’t let it get
mushy.”
“Yeah,” Dick says, nose bumping against Jason’s. “Mushy spaghetti’s the worst.”
“You’re the worst,” Jason says and kisses him, getting -- Dick’s pretty sure -
- saucey fingers all in his hair as he hears Bruce dump the spaghetti into the
colander, cursing under his breath when he pours some of the boiling water onto
his finger.
Jay laughs against Dick’s mouth but he doesn’t stop kissing him and Dick’s
pretty okay with that. Jason’s mouth is always soft, always taste sweet, but
this time it tastes like more than that. This time it tastes like Bruce and
Dick squeezes Jason around his waist and shoves his tongue down his throat,
wants to lick the taste right out of his mouth, make it his own.
He doesn’t stop until he feels Bruce’s hand on his shoulder and when he pulls
away Jason’s eyes are big and black and his mouth is red and he’s grinning, his
thumbs hooked in Dick’s belt loops.
“Dinner,” Bruce says softly and pulls some plates down from the cabinet for
them.
 
: : :
 
“Do you think,” Jay says, sitting on one leg while he twirls spaghetti around
on his fork, staring at Dick as he shovels in mounds of spaghetti and
meatballs. “That he can breathe like that?”
The corners of Bruce’s mouth twist up behind his wine glass. “I think he likes
our cooking.”
“This,” Dick says with a mouthful, totally aware his face is covered in sauce
and not really caring a whole lot about it. “This is freaking fantastic.”
“You’ve been living off Ramen noodles too long Dickie,” Jason laughs. “It’s
nothin’ fancy.”
“I don’t care,” Dick says, finally leaning back in his chair, wiping his mouth
with his napkin. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna explode.”
“Yeah, me too,” Jason says, pushing his plate out in front of him and Bruce
snorts.
“You barely ate anything.”
“I ate!”
“Hn,” Bruce says. “You ate two boxes of Milk Duds before dinner, that’s what
you ate.”
“Whatever,” Jay says and hops up, leaving his mess for Bruce to clean up and
grabs Dick by the arm. “Come on,” he says. “Pre-patrol nap time.”
“Wha?” Dick asks as Jason bodily drags him up the stairs to his room. “Is that
a new thing? Do you and Bruce --”
“Dickie,” Jason laughs, tugging his shirt over his head. “Bruce? The only way I
could get him to nap is if I tranq’d him.”
“Yeah,” Dick says, stripping down to his boxers. “That sounds about right.”
“Now get in here and spoon me, bitch,” Jason says, flipping the covers back and
rolling onto his side, so Dick slides onto the bed next to him, pulls the
covers up and wraps around Jay like they used to, before Dick got too big for
his literal britches and flew the coop.
“Hair smells funny,” Dick murmurs into the back of Jason’s head.
“Shut up and go to sleep, Dickie,” Jason says, wiggling back against him and
Dick closes his eyes, presses his mouth to the scar on Jason’s shoulder where
he accidentally clipped him with birdarang once.
It was sposed to look like a bat, but. I guess it looks like a bird or
something. Anyway, you can have it, if you want.
“Sweet dreams, Little Wing,” he says and wraps his arm tight around Jason,
falling asleep within minutes.
 
: : :
 
Patrolling with Bruce and Jason is everything Dick remembers it being except
somehow more. More fun, more violent, more thrilling, more everything. Jay’s
bigger, faster, and Dick almost whoops out loud when he sees Jay land one of
the flips he taught him.
They stay together instead of splitting up tonight, not much in the way of
criminal activity, and he and Jay spend the night driving Bruce up the wall,
running circles around him and chasing each other from rooftop to rooftop until
Jay collapses at Bruce’s feet, his chest heaving, grinning from ear to ear.
“And if we got ambushed right now?” Bruce says like he’s talking down to the
rest of the city. “You wasted all of your energy.”
“Dickie’d save us,” Jason says, still grinning up at him, his eyes brighter
than ever.
“Hn,” Bruce says, but it ends up being not so much a joke when they get
ambushed later that night by about eight or ten gang members all out for blood.
They take them down, of course, but it’s a good fight, gets the blood pumping
and the adrenaline racing through Dick’s veins. He’s not even looking over to
see how Jay’s doing because he knows, he knows he’s fine now, knows Bruce
wouldn’t let anything happen to him anyway.
They meet up on a rooftop a couple of blocks away after the police are called
in and when Bruce reaches out and wipes the blood off of Dick’s cheek Dick just
goes to him, crashes his mouth against Bruce’s and wraps his legs around him,
feels the cold brick against his back when Bruce presses him up against it and
licks into his mouth.
“Christ, Dickie,” Jason laughs at his side and Bruce pulls away then, sets Dick
down.
“I think we’re done for the night,” he says tightly and Jason smirks next to
him, something absolutely filthy.
“Not even close, B.”
 
: : :
 
They end up in Bruce’s bed, not because it’s the biggest because each of their
rooms has a king size bed in it, but because it smells like Bruce, like sweat
and spice and the cologne they both drool over anytime they smell it.
Bruce just lays back and watches them for the longest time, sometimes running
his fingers through Jason’s hair or skimming his fingers down Dick’s arm, but
mostly he’s content to just watch as Jason grinds on Dick, still in their
boxers, tipping his head back so Dick can lick and kiss and bite from his jaw
all the way down his throat.
“Dick,” Jay keens for him, grinding down hard against Dick. “Dickie.”
“Want me?” Dick asks, pushing Jay’s hair out of his eyes. “Or B?”
“I,” Jay says. “I -- fuck --”
Bruce chuckles next to them and shucks off his boxers, grabs the lube and a
condom from the nightstand and hands them to Dick over Jay’s back.
“Come here, Jay,” Bruce says, carding his fingers through Jay’s hair. “Right
here between my legs.”
“Kay,” Jay shivers and moves on shaky Bambi legs to get between Bruce’s thighs.
“You want us both, don’t you?” Bruce says softly, cupping Jason’s face and
Jason just nods, turns his head to suck Bruce’s thumb into his mouth. “You want
Dick to fuck you while you suck me.”
Jason moans around Bruce’s thumb, his eyelashes fluttering.
“You just want to be filled up, don’t you?” Dick says as he presses a kiss to
the base of Jay’s spine and hooks his fingers into his boxers to tug them off.
“Yeah,” Jason breathes out, laying his head on Bruce’s thigh as Dick starts
working him open with two slick fingers.
“That good, Jay?”
“Fuck yeah,” Jay murmurs, fucking back a little against Dick’s fingers.
He whines when Dick takes them out a few minutes later, but his whine turns
into a string of filthy words and moans as Dick pushes into him, hard and hot
and slick, and Bruce just takes Jay’s face between his hands and brings his
mouth to his cock.
“God, Jay,” Bruce breathes out, letting his head fall back against the
headboard, stilling framing Jay’s face with his hands as he swallows him down.
Jay moans and drools around him when Dick starts moving inside of him, his
hands tight on Jay’s hips, and Jay’s mouth on him is sloppy and messy and
perfect. When Dick starts fucking him harder he gets too enthusiastic, ends up
taking too much at once and chokes a little bit, tears stinging his eyes, so
Bruce takes his face back in his hands and guides him onto his cock, fucks
Jay’s mouth in shallow, controlled thrusts that make him dizzy.
“Jay, Jay,” Dick is chanting as he slams into him. “Bruce. He feels so good.”
“I know,” Bruce says, feeling himself getting closer. “Too good, sometimes. His
mouth is...something I can’t -- god, Jay --” Bruce gasps and Dick watches him
lose it, watches his face light up so beautifully as he comes down Jay’s
throat, the muscles in his arms and chest going taut, all the veins in them
popping out.
“Oh god,” Jason says when he pulls off of Bruce. “God, Dickie. Fuck me, fuck
me, jesus --”
“Okay, shh,” Dick says and hauls Jason back against him until he’s pretty much
in his lap, giving Bruce space to move in front of him, cup Jason’s face and
kiss him.
“He’s perfect, isn’t he,” He says to Dick. “Tight, always so tight.”
“And hot,” Dick grits out in the back of Jason’s neck. “And -- god.”
Bruce grabs Dick’s head over Jay’s shoulder and kisses him this time and Dick
can taste some of Bruce’s come on his tongue from where he just had it in
Jason’s mouth and goddamn, it’s already too much.
“B”, Jason whines and Bruce leans back, holds Jason’s face in one hand and gets
his other one around Jason’s dick and Jason just fucking comes undone, bucks
back against Dick and claws at Bruce’s shoulder and comes all over Bruce’s hand
and everywhere and Dick can’t take anymore, just grabs Jason and bounces him on
his dick until Dick cries out hoarsley against Jason’s shoulder and comes so
hard it knocks the breath out of him.
 
: : :
 
“You were both very good tonight,” Bruce says later, after they’re clean and
smell like lavender and lilacs, Jason’s green apple shampoo, curled up with
Jason between them in Bruce’s bed that still smells like sex, like them.
Jason makes a snorting noise between them and Dick pinches him for it.
“Yeah, B,” he says. “But who was better?”
“Yeah, B,” Jason adds, mocking Dick’s voice. “Who’s your favorite?”
Bruce groans, turns on his side away from them. “No favorite,” Bruce says.
“Only brats.”
“Whatever,” Jay says. “You love us.”
They both know he isn’t asleep already, but it’s fine.
They know.
End Notes
     Title borrowed from Profane, but Ashe Vernon, which you can read a
     part of here.
     birdarang bit from the Nightwing series on youtube you can find here
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